All I ever wanted in life was to travel the world and to experience new things. I am now 31 years old (female) and no closer to that goal than I ever was before. I'm not getting any younger, I'm not getting any richer. I am tired, unhappy and depressed. The only thing tieing me to the place that I am living now is my ageing parents and my boyfriend of about 2 years (no kids). The way things are going my depression is only getting worse, and I often call out of work because of this. I don't want to loose this job, It pays well and I can do it from home, but sometimes I just can't stop crying or having anxiety attacks. I'm not in control, even though I am on meds. I've been to therapy. Do you know what they say? Live your life to the fullest, make goals for yourself, do what makes you happy.
Traveling is my only goal. I want to see the world- yes, I get there is a pandemic, and international travel is not an option at the moment, fine. But there is plenty of places for me to visit inside the US (safely, while social distanceing/masks, etc). My problem is if I try to maintain a life and a home here, it becomes financially near impossible to have any extended stays in the places I want to travel too. The traditional path is that you save and scrounge for a year or so to have 2 weeks at a vacation. But thats A LOT of work for a little bit of life. Ive been doing/trying to do that and I've gotten almost no where. I feel so utterly bored and unfulfilled and I just can't play that endless unfruitful game anymore. I decided that a better option for me might be to find an apartment with a roommate in a city for a couple of months, see the sites and then head off to the next place. I'd prioritize that the places have solid Internet, so that I can do my work from home job anywhere. And to play it extra safe, I'd wait until my lease is up in May and have as much saved as I can for any unforeseen set backs.
I thought it was a pretty good plan. But my father is telling me that I'm absolutely crazy, that I need to adjust my medication, settle down and have a family. That is never going to happen, dad. And my boyfriend says that he has no desire to join me in my travels, and that I'll regret it. So, it seems, If I'm gonna do this journey, I'm gonna have to do it alone. And, I'm gonna have to risk losing relationships that are important to me.... I don't understand why I have to make these decisions, why the people who love me are trying to hold it back, I don't really see the big deal in moving around- Especially with today's day and age of technology. But this is what they have both relayed to me. I value their opinions and feedback, and I don't want to loose them. But I feel like I have to do this. I have to go see the world, its the only thing I ever wanted. And if not now, then WHEN an HOW!?
Submitted December 30, 2020 at 10:12PM by Ftrcihya77 https://ift.tt/2WXCWWx
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