A Depressing Norwegian Cruise

A Depressing Norwegian Cruise

Hello Everyone,

I write this post again as the 150$ internet package I purchased aboard this ship decided to die and delete 2 hours worth of text, but I sincerely want to get this out there. Hopefully, this one actually gets uploaded. As per the title, this cruise has been nothing short of depressing. This is my second cruise and this one has been pretty awful. I'll explain the full extent of the pitfalls of cruising with Norwegian here in organized points for easier reading. Without further ado, let's begin.

1. The Hidden Fees When you sign up for the cruise, the price you see is not what you pay. There are additional packages that they tack onto your stay like an open bar, specialty dining and whatnot, on top of port fees and a hidden service/gratuity fee that they conveniently have in the background away from your subtotal to charge you once your vacation reaches it's end. It's 16$ per person per night, so it'll get expensive very quickly. If you choose to opt out of the drinks, the entire package will fall through leaving you without any additional benefits even if you wanted to pay for those parts of the bundle. By the way, careful where you get your room, forward and aft ends of the ship rock way worse and can really ruin a trip. For this one, I am forward, two of my family are far aft and two are center. The center room is great but came with, you guessed it, another fee. The aft room shook so much from the propeller that the closet doors decided to play an improvised drum solo. The forward room rocks up and down a ton. I can safely say that I no longer fear earthquakes as I have practically lived a constant 8.0.

2. Price Gated Activities They advertise go karts, spa days and even laser tag! But, how much of it is covered in your fare? Not much. In fact, almost none of it. Go Karts are pay per ride, laser tag is paid per round, photo services are paid, barbershop is practically a robbery with prices around 3x in a regular city(50$ plus gratuity for a men's basic cut!), spa is 75$ per day for the hot and cold rooms and 200$+ for any services, arcade is pay per play(there are like 15 games), milkshakes are paid, the bake shop is paid, starbucks, in room water, arcade machines on the side of the road and even the daily activities are rife with price tags. Even the casino's tables start at 25$ minimum bets. I was genuinely shocked at how much the cruise shoved a bill into my face. This was a family cruise, but I found it hard to find much to do with them without having to explain that we had to pay for this or that. It might not be a huge sum, but it just feels awful to feel like you're being milked like livestock for money. You end up feeling trapped on a vessel with entertainment options intentionally locked away to pressure you into spending. The cruise isn't cheap, the hell did you pay for? The opportunity to pay a premium?

3. The Staff Some of the most awesome and unfortunate folks I've run into. They're hardworking, but paid under minimum wage as the cruise sails international waters and thus can avoid taxes and pesky labor laws. I have found myself feeling badly for them more than once as the cost of human expense seems so high for the enjoyment of others. They feel more like slaves at times as more than once I've eyed a manager hawking on a worker constantly. Hell, I tipped a waiter 10$ and they practically broke into tears. It saddens me that this is the human condition we put others through. The gratuity fees are fine, but are often run through a gauntlet of taxes and fees thus the workers tend to end up with peanuts anyways. Given how much the cruise is money grubbing at every opportunity, seeing these folks struggle underneath them is like watching a real capitalistic dystopia in action before me.

4. The Complimentary Of the 19 dining options, 14 are paid/specialty, and 5 are free. Of the 5, one stays open all the time, but has an unchanging and small menu. 3 of them share the same daily menu with varying levels of quality. The potatoes were dry, the meat was tough, but the desserts were pretty nice. No dress code unlike princess, but princess has leagues better food and menus. The last option is a buffet and the quality is similar to a regular old hometown buffet. There's the classic jello and softserve. Activity-wise, a lot of the activity list is just mentions of things opening. There are a few mentions of music options, a bunch of advertisements for smokes/alcohol/watches, a show or two, premium activities, and little events at the main atrium hub. Even some "free" activities ended up showing a "with purchases" subtext when I went there. There is not much substance in the activities list. The shows were... Odd. The first one featured a sextet group singing about... Miscarriages and beheadings from Henry the 8th. The other was a Jersey Boys band but they kept interrupting the music to explain the history of the band, and the grandparents I came with fell asleep during the performance. The comedy club was packed to the extent where folks had to stand and I relinquished my seat to an elderly lady and trudged myself up to my small cabin. Turning on the TV greeted me with more ads for watches and a list of movies I could buy. Sigh. The whole thing is finished up by the shameful little bottles of water with their price tags and tiny text with more fees staring at me from the corner of the desk under the tv. The best free activities by far are just watching folks in their 60s attempt to twerk and relationships get strained in the odd happenings in the atrium. Not all of the things they do are free of course, bingo, lotto and deal or no deal are all paid as usual. Great. There are some lonely little activities like a couple of ping pong tables in the corner of the top deck, a tiny outdoor golf course and a water slide, but in freezing weather, the hot tub isn't getting used, let alone all of that. Apparently, others also did not want to spend a fortune in the casinos or premium services as they all congregated in a packed observation lounge. The best any time activity was to hit the observation deck as grabbing a snack and staring into the big blue and wondering where it went wrong is thankfully, still free.

5. The Premium The vast majority of restaurants aboard are specialty dining. Prices are... Not discounted at all. Despite this, I had a single opportunity to eat at one of these places free of charge but, I was denied access to one of the restaurants because they had a dress code. A dress code that doesn't exist anywhere else on the ship and was advertised not to exist. I don't have a suit, so I can't dine there. There are many other options, but all of them require reservations, but the reservation line is always busy or just doesn't pick up. At this point, I'm about to give up and just sit at the buffet next to the family of 10. The drinks package doesn't come with any special drink container and the cups tend to be woefully small. The internet package.... I paid 150$ for it and it died trying to post this to reddit. That should tell you all you need to know. I have become zen with the amount of disappointment here, not even 2 hours of lost work can phase me. Lord knows I'm not about to drop hundreds on pictures, watches, haircuts or massages, so I can only wonder how good those are, but given my general experience... I can take a guess at how great those are. The people that paid extra for the upgraded drinks packages stick out as they're either passed out on deck or have ceased being able to speak coherently after trying to recoup their money on cheap booze and liquor. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I am not one of them. Excursions are generally expensive and also are just overshadowed with people travelling in stuffy busses getting to places. If you're looking for some privacy or away time, you're better off sitting in your cabins.

6. The Hygiene and Population I really realized what folks meant when they said cruise ships are floating petri dishes. A lot of public places are packed and the poor ventilation means that the air gets stuffy very quickly. Facilities and tools like door handles, seats and serving tongs are greasy and warm from constant use. And yes, there are active cases of various illnesses on board. And no, there is no testing. The only real protection against C19 was a single piece of paper asking if you had a fever. I can recommend cruises if you want to update your immune system with the latest strains of well, pretty much everything. As for interaction, I'm a rather younger traveler so most passengers well above my age choose not to speak to me. However, the few short conversations I've had were pleasant, though fleeting.

7. Silver Lining and Conclusion I really don't mean to sound like a downer or hater, but it's been hard to stay very positive when I feel like I'm human livestock being milked for everything I'm worth at every corner. It makes me wonder what the hell I paid for. So... What did I get? Well, if you want to eat and sleep without worrying about cleaning, cruising has that covered. It's nice to look out into the ocean, and there is some novelty to doing things out on the sea, but it's hard to feel much joy with how crushingly depressing the reality is. Being served by underpaid and stressed workers whilst being pelted by luxury watch ads and art auction advertisements just epitomizes the experience for me at this point. I went around asking folks what they were enjoying and pretty much the unanimous answer was eating, and drinking. The side activities are just... Okay. A lot of them seem to exist to just say, "hey, look at me, I'm another thing that exists arbitrarily to make it seem like there's something to do!" rather than existing as a standalone entity with substance if it doesn't cost another nickle and dime.

Having written this whole thing twice, I probably left out some things and will update it tomorrow when I wake up. I chose to write this twice using my time on the ship, so you can really tell how much fun I'm having. I have one more shot to try their specialty dining for free, but I don't really care for it at this point. I feel badly for the family, as this was not what I wanted to put them through.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an art auction pamphlet and rolex advertisement to read before staring at the cabin ceiling until I pass out. Peace.

Submitted December 01, 2022 at 10:28AM by Sleepoi https://ift.tt/cD2laEA